Girls of The Gleeforum Write Fanfiction
by jericho2k
Summary: Pure crack fic created by a round robin discussion in the Rileystreet thread on gleeforum. Each participant added a couple of lines and the fic descended into pure twattery and nonsense..chicken-shading,Chord fangirling, telepathic impregnation abound in this absolute crack read!Rated M for language


**Disclaimer:This is clearly pure made up nonsense so pls do not sue!**

**So over on the Rileystreet thread of the Gleeforum camp 'RileyStreet Badass-cause we DGAF so join us or suck!' has started and kicked off with a bang on Saturday with the girls of the forum taking turns to add a copule of lines at a time and create a fanfic. What happened was a descent into the land of crack fics, chicken shading, telepathic impregnation and all around craziness. This fic has been copied and pasted as is from the forum...any typos or mistakes that appear are a result of live-foruming and laughing so hard we could barely type straight and I'm keeping them in rather than correct them. To the 22 guests that were watching us I hope you enjoyed it!**

**To my girlies:**

**TheEssie92**

**Lotus Tattoo**

**Czech**

**Mocha**

**Mia **

**and everybody else that was present and watching it was a pleasure to write and laugh with you guys!**

* * *

When Chord saw Amber and Harry's tweet about her eating dinner at his house, he started dropping f-bombs left and right. Darren looked at him across the table in the Toronto restaurant they were eating at shaking his head.

"Fuck!" Chord yelled again in his hungover scratchy voice.

'What's wrong with you! Keep it down and tone your language down,' he hissed at Chord, looking around furtively to see if anyone was looking. 'Is chicken fillet bra tweeting crap about you again? Really, dude just unfollow her already and be done with it!'

"No, I don't give a shit about that hen with old woman's knees anymore. It's Harry this time. He's flirting with Amber on Twitter. I thought we were friends, that little bitch. I have to call him immediately."

Chord dialed Harrys number...

Harry: Hey Chord! Whatsapp  
Chord: Dont whatsapp me, what did I told you about Ms. pretty. What did I told you about feeding and tweeting my woman without my permission huh!

Harry: Chord, you are taking your long ass time moving in on Amber. I've been trying to talk you up, but then all these damn pictures of you invade the internet with skanky ass bitches hanging all over you! What the fuck?

Chord: Those pics weren't my fault!

Harry:Not only were you stupid enough to get back with that hideous ostrich within days of dumping her bony, badly-dressed carcass there were reports you'd got together with that slug-eyed girl! What is wrong with your eyes dude? What is Amber supposed to think?  
Chord:It was lies, tell you lies!  
Harry: If you're that stupid that you don't make your move and take her off the market then get used to guys coming along and stealing her away

Chord: And by guys you mean yourself? Let me laugh. You're nothing but a friendzoned man. And feeding her with the chicken nuggets wasn't a brightest idea, you know how she hates Emma, she was sick because of you the whole flight! But now tell me, do you think those pics of me on the Toronto red carpet can get her pregnant?  
Harry: *hung up*  
Chord: Dude? Are you there?  
Harry:...  
Chord: Darren, go get me a glass of vodka, that bastard hung up on me

Darren: Really Chord? What the fuck is wrong with you dude.. You have to step it up if want Amber cuz all that whining aint gonna help you. And no more alcohol for you!  
Chord: Oh HELL TO THE NO.. OMGOSH I JUST QUOTED MERCEDES JONES! AMBER AND I ARE MEANT TO BE! NON of you fools are going to keep DAT GlORIOUS ASS AWAY FROM THESE ABS.. *starts to take of his shirt*

Darren jumps across the table to keep Chord from getting naked in the upscale restaurant they are eating in.

Darren: Chord, you need to get a hold of yourself -  
Chord: No! Amber and I are meant to be together! I need to take a naked pic and send it to her. NO! Forget that shit, I'm not going back to LA with you, I'm flying to New York to show her in person! She misses me.

Girl standing behind Chord:Hem-hem!  
Chord sees a short red haired girl with freckles wearing scrubs and turns to face her.  
Girl:Are you Chord Overstreet?  
Chord:Yes, do you want an autograph?  
Girl:No I bloody well don't waste fool! I'm here on behalfd of MI8 and her Maj's government to tell you fool you better recognise what time it is...get a pair of bollocks and take Amber out. Stop this cyclops-brow, chicken trollop twattery this instant and reel your beak in! You've got one chance waste fool, one chance then I'm coming back with Riga...(says into a hidden mic:GO LADY B GO!

Lady B:(rushes up behind Chord with grabby gropey hands):FEEL THE GROPE OF MY HANDS WAAAAAAAAAAASTE FOOOOOOOOOL!

Chord: What the fuuuuck? Let me go, I'm Amber's! Wait, did you say Lady B? And Riga? Are you one of those unbelievably amazing girls from glee forum? Oh my god! *starts fangirling*  
Lady B:*facepalm*  
Anni:*facepalm*  
Chord: Thank you so much, you inspire me, can I get an autograph? I'm your biggest fan.  
Anni: Shut up, you waste fool, get your boney ass and jump on the nearest flight to New York.  
Lady B: Yeah, I'd watch you and Amber fool around, ain't nobody got time for that.  
Chord: I'M COMING AMBER, I'M CMING, PREPARE YOUR CERVIX!  
Anni: Waste fool.  
Chord leaves to the airport

Amber baby im coming! Chord runs out the restaurant and yells to random cars  
Chord: TAXI!... TAXI!... *non of the cars stops* what the fu..  
Chord gets interrupted by his ringtone, what happends to be Ambers cover of I will always love you…  
Chord: Amber Baby! Im on way to New York I need to show you my abs. Your ass and my abs are match made in heaven!  
Amber: What the hell Chord, are you out of you r mi…  
Chord: No wifey don't be mad, you know I like your ass.. *Starts to sing* I Like big butts and I can not lie!...  
Amber:…..  
Chord: Amber? Amber? No Baby dont leave me the MI8 after me! Im scared..  
Amber: Are you drunk  
Chord: Drunk on looooooveeeeeeee!  
Chord starts to sing again this time Let me love you by Mario

Amber: Chord! What the hell is going on with you? MI8?

She hears a scuffle on Chord's end.

Amber: Chord! Chord, are you there?  
Chord: I'm still here baby, I just had to throw Darren off of my leg while I got into this cab. Sorry bro!  
Amber: What the fuck?  
Chord: Amber, wifey, I'm coming to New York and we are going to get married in a secret ceremony.  
Amber: You're tripping.  
Chord: Tripping on lust.  
Amber: *hangs up

Chord looks at the cabbie: To Toronto Pearson! I'm going to New York to get married!

Amber:That fool's lost his mind! (phone rings agin)  
Chord:Amber!Don't hang up please! I love you, wifey!  
Amber:CHORD OVERSTREET ARE YOU DRUNK PROPOSING TO ME? WASTE FOOL! I'MMA BREAK MY FOOT IN YOUR ASS!(hangs up)  
Chord: (to the cab driver) She loves me...see! She loves me! Oh yeah dat cervix is gon be mine to hit! Oh Amber, I knows you want up on my mamba..cha cha cha! WHO ARE WE? RILEYSTREET! WHO ARE WE? RILEYSTREET! WHO ARE WE? RILEYSTREET! BOOM!BOOP! PREGNANT! DEAD...(faints)

Chord sitting on the plane next to elderly couple  
Chord: dum dum dudum dum dum dudum  
Woman: Is that boy humming Mendelson's Wedding march?  
Man: I think so. Wait, didn't I see him somewhere before?  
Woman: I told you not to watch porn, George!  
Chord: *dialing all of his friends numbers* People! You have to fly to New York. Right now.  
Kevin: What are you talking about?  
Chord: Ms Pretty and I are getting married.  
Dianna: Are you kidding me?  
Chord: No, quickly, pack your things. And remember, Vanessa must never know about this.  
Mark: I just bought a ticket online. This should be fun!  
Dianna: Ok, to New York!

Chord begins to get impatient  
Chord: *mumbels to himself* cant this pilote fly faster hey I just ask him to fly faster.. Im a celebrity I should use my power to get stuff done  
Chord gets up a walks to the pilote  
Chord: Yo pilote dude cant you fly faster I need to impregnate my Queen

Chord: Or wait maybe! this works... he mumbels to himself. *dials Ambers number again*.  
Amber: Chord IM GONNA BREAK YOUR NUTS WITH MY BARE HANDS IF YOU DRUNK DIAL ME AGAIN, UNDERSTOOD!...  
Chord: *squeeze his eyes, trying to concentrate on something*  
Amber: *little bit worried* Chord are you okay?...  
Chord: sshhh… Can you feel it?  
Amber: feel what Chordy  
Chord: Can you feel the seed inside of you growing? Im sending you my supersperm via telepathy... WE'RE GOING TO HAVE CHOCOLATE SWIRL BABIES!

Amber: Chord you're a damn fool! *hangs up.

Chord continues with project telepathic pregnancy for the rest of the flight.

Elderly woman: Young man, are you afraid of flying?  
Chord: NO! No talking, must concentrate on my boys going up the Fallopian tuuubbbbeeeessss!

Elderly woman and man exchange worried glances as she leans away from the blonde crazy man.

Pilot: Please prepare for landing.

Elderly couple and Chord at the same time: Thank God!

Plane lands and Chord climbs over women, babies, the elderly, the sick basically anybody who gets in his way he tramples them in his desperation to get to the doors.  
Chord:Excuse me! Pardon me! Coming through...MOVE! Sperm ejaculate coming through...must impregnate...must impregnate...  
(runs through the terminal leaving his bags behind)  
Chord:No need for bags cos I'm gonna be nekkid! Ooooh yeah Amber (sings) Chord gon' give it to ya, gon' give to ya!  
(rings Amber)  
Amber: FOOL!MORON! CRETIN! GET OFF THE GOD DAMNED LINE!  
Chord:Hey baby, me and my super Chordy sperm are lookin' for ya...  
Amber:Well keep lookin' waste fool! Ain't nobody got time for that!  
Chord:oooh baby I love it when you play hard to get...gon bang you like a drum!  
Amber:WAAAAAAAAAAASTE FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL DIE! (hangs up)

Chord: Oh, you know you want it, Ms Glorious Ass. But how do I find you in this fucking ridiculously big city? It must have been built by kabob's ancestors. OH I KNOW. I'M GOING TO USE MY NOSE. I CAN SMELL YOUR AMAZING PARFUME MILES AWAY.  
Chord standing in front of Amber's hotel.  
Chord: Ambeeeeeeeeeeer, my wifey! Come down here so I can impregnate you!  
Amber in her room: What the hell was that?

Somebody knocks on Ambers door..  
Amber: *opens the door*.. OH MY GOD, SWEET BABY JESUS HIGH IN SKY, MOTHER OF GOD! CHORD! WHAT U DOIN HERE AND WHAT IS THAT THING IN YOUR PANTS ALMOST STICKING A HOLE THROUGH THE FABRIC!  
Chord: *walks in the room, going straight to the bed, takes of his clothes and lies on the bed very seductivly* that ms. perfect ass is going to be your joystick for the night. So come on over and hold on tight cause its going to be a bumpy ride...

Something about seeing Chord naked on her bed stirred something deep inside of Amber and she felt like she had no control over her body as she made her way over to the bed in a trance, stripping clothes off in a trail behind her.

Chord, who DGAF about anything but her little hands controlling his body with his joystick, sat up and pulled her on top of him...

THE END.


End file.
